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Perfection is possible.

Dumbass #2

Towing capacity: 7000 lbs.
Payload capacity: 2000 lbs.
Actual payload: 90 lb. Yo-boy, 100 lbs. speakers
Money wasted on off-road technology: All of it


August 27, 2009 Posted by | Dumbasses | Leave a comment

Dumbass #1

August 27, 2009 Posted by | Dumbasses | | Leave a comment

More news

Ahhh, the news…

Today it’s Ted Kennedy, and unfortunately Jon and Kate.  I have unique gripes for each of these.

Good ol’ Ted.  I understand that Ted was a good guy, and I understand he was a Kennedy.  But honestly, those who care about this should be able to go to a news site like and be able to read OTHER news without trying to filter out the 37 articles about his death, life, family, nose hair, ass crack…

The point is, why can’t they just put up a “Ted’s Dead Baby” link and let people who want to read about him do it?  I feel like when I read the news these days, I’m being force-fed events and fodder that I really don’t care about.  There is no reason to have links to articles on the Home page, the US page AND the Politics page!  It was the same for MJ.  It was the same for Swine Flu!  Please, I beg you, news organizations.   STOP!

It is for this reason that I have decided to get my news elsewhere.  The brilliant folks at and have done an absolutely fabulous job at handling this.  We get up-to-date news links that span the globe and offer a constantly changing range of topics and interests.  Dare I say that what started out as an act of boredom has actually trumped BIG NEWS?

FARK, we need ‘FARK local’, and we need it badly.  Although, Florida gets to stay on all local sites.  They do indeed have some of the most bizarre news.  My best local option right now is The News Journal (, the state of Delaware’s press-pride-and-joy.  Quite frankly it sucks, and here’s why:

1) Advertising: every time I click a link on the page I get inundated with “please log in” pop-ups because I work for a reputable company that filters out all of that crap.  I have never had this problem… never.  Not on snopes, not on FARK, not on CNN or on this blog.  What the hell are you guys doing there?

2) The Race Card: The News Journal intentionally and completely removes the race from 100% of the crime stories they publish.  Check this out:

  • ROBBERY AT ATM: Police are looking for a robber who took money and a bank card from a Wilmington man withdrawing cash from a PNC Bank ATM on Sunday afternoon. Wilmington police said the victim was using a teller machine in the 1000 block of N. Union St. about 3 p.m. He told police that while he was getting cash, a man in his late 20s and about 6 feet tall approached him and motioned that he had a gun. The robber grabbed cash and a credit card from the victim and fled south on Union Street. Anyone with information may contact Wilmington Police Detective Division at 576-3620.  (

“A man in his late 20s and about 6 feet tall”?!  Are you freaking kidding me?  That’s ME!  And about 1000 other I see on a daily basis!

“Anyone with information may contact Wilmington Police Detective Division at 576-3620”?!  Information about WHAT?  Should I call and tell them about every 6′ tall guy I see in his mid-20’s walking around the street?

The only think I can guess here is that someone sued the paper for some race related something-or-other and now they are afraid.  Ridiculous, useless, shameful and afraid.

PLEASE, someone in Delaware start a new paper.

And finally Jon and Kate:  If you care about what the hell Jon and Kate are doing, talking to, crying over, etc… please never never never read my blog again.  Seriously.

August 27, 2009 Posted by | The News | Leave a comment

The News

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Today is Wednesday, July 7th, 2009.  The top story on CNN?  Michael Jackson’s memorial service.  Let’s see how some news actually ranks in the hearts and minds of news-junky Americans:

1) Fans across country mourn | And the world
2) Fans assemble for Jackson memorial
3) L.A. wants help paying for Jackson memorial
4) How are you honoring MJ today?
5) Places to go to honor Michael Jackson
6) Web braces for Michael Jackson onslaught

Meanwhile the following stories are listed in these positions (which I consider to be how important CNN thought they were):

11) 8 U.S. soldiers dead in 2 days in Afghanistan
16) Taliban may be buying kids for suicide bombs

What kind of fucked up place do we live in where chilren suicide bombers and dead American soldiers take the (very) back seat to some celebrity dying?  I know he was huge, and I know he was weird, but come on.  Even if he didn’t molest those kids, he wanted to SLEEP WITH THEM!  Come on people.  This was an obviously very deranged pedophile who made some good music.  I admit, I’ve listened to it, and I do like some of it.  But I also listen to Johnny Cash, who’s news coverage was nothing like this, and he didn’t fondle little boys.  It’s outrageous!  I’m embarrassed for every person who flocked to wherever-the-hell this memorial is, and have spent NONE of their time lobbying for the return of our soldiers.

Let’s talk about this Israel/Iran thing for a moment.  Obama has “not given the green light” to Israel to attack Iran, but says it is “up to them to defend the security of our nation”.  Hmmm.  So, let’s assume that Israel DOES attack Iran.  Where do they have to go through?  Iraq.  Who is on all sides of Israel?  Militant Muslims (not everyone of course, but this isn’t the point).  Who’s going to have to fend them off?  Russia?  China?  Djibuti?  No.  Us.  We’re going to be in ANOTHER god-damned conflict because Israel wants to flex its muscles.  Here’s an idea.  STOP KILLING MUSLIMS IN THE WEST BANK.  Jesus, they’re fighting over a piece of land that are smaller than many of our FARMS.  LET THEM HAVE IT, and maybe they’ll leave you alone.  At least for a while.  Then, they’ll probably still come for the Holy Land, which was theirs to start out with.  Would we call Native Americans “terrorists” if they wanted the land that was rightfully theirs?  Oh, yeah, we did.  And we killed them.

There is something seriously wrong here.  There’s a place that I know that I would love to move to, it’s called Switzerland.  And if we get into another middle east pissing match, I might just try to move there.

Call me un-American, but I would like to live in a society that doesn’t insert itself into other people’s problems, and where my countrymen’s lives are more important than some child molesting freak’s funeral.

July 7, 2009 Posted by | The News | Leave a comment